i just want perfect skin and hair and teeth and body proportions and endless supplies of money and beauty and intelligence. is that too much to ask for?
i cant wait to get my license so i can legally drive myself off a cliff
when the person you hate tries to make a joke
one thing i never do is write a rough draft it’s all or nothing go big or go home
when i email my instructors i always try to be so polite/intelligent and they hit me back with shit like “ok c u thurs”
for real tho i was emailing my professor the other day asking to be switched into a different group cause nobody else was doing any work and since this is the second semester ive had her she figured we were chill and shoots back “i know theyre all dumb fucks ill switch you”
when u make a mistake
"I did my homework right away so I didn’t have to wait till the last minute like you.."
when your friends make plans right in front of you and dont invite you
when guys stretch and their shoulder blade does the thing
Wow, promo games actually work guys.
"ew fast food, do you even know what they put in fast food-"